Nu Shooz

Ba-ba-babee, I-I-I-I can’t wait. Na-na-nah-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh. Neh-nuh neh-nuh Neh-nuh. Na-na-nah-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh. Neh-nuh neh-nuh Neh-nuh. Ba-ba-babee, I-I-I-I can’t wait.

I’m referencing cheesy 80’s music–and acting weird–because I’m excited about going running today. It’s the first time since last Sunday. I felt good to get a run in and my knee seems to be not hurting anymore. I think that the new shoes are solving the problem. They look something like this picture–I’m sure you are all on pins on needles looking at them–but they have gel padding that makes it feel like running on top of those silicone stress balls, or maybe one of those ergonomic mouse pads that support your wrist.

Having run so little in the last few days, I’ve got a touch of erfult as I’m sipping on a nice bottle of cabernet.

I also registered for classes at University of Houston, today. I’m excited about starting them in January, even though, I’m not sure why anyone should be excited about Pre-calculus.

Turkey Day

You arrive to work late, again, on this Friday before your weeklong vacation, timed to coincide with Thanksgiving. Your drive this morning included a blistering weave in your blue Civic Coupe through traffic to reach your destination. After a parallel trip through the Starbucks line, which, to your surprise, is not long enough to extend past the front doors of the closet-like tunnel-space in the downtown Houston labrinyths; you reach your desk, boot your computer and read this email message from a partner in the office:

As many of you already know, we have a couple of very large projects that need to be completed in the [omitted] case by Nov. 30th (per Court order). We are having a meeting today at 10 am in the front conference room today to discuss the various projects. For those of you who have already agreed to participate in the project, thank you. For those who have not, I would strongly encourage your participation as we will need everyone possible to complete these projects on time.

You suspected a more strongly worded invitation to participate in this project would await you and the rest of the office. The previous afternoon, your office received a similar email from an associate, who could only request availability, not cancel vacations. You responded to the associate by explaining you would be out of the office next week. You omitted the detail that scheduling this vacation time occurred 2 months ago. That Thursday eve, a friendly drink with another associate, included a resolution to not work on the project, or otherwise seek the ruination of your week off without a personal “engraved” invitation. The associate concurred.

Now analyzing this email, your resentment for the feudal structure of legal industry pounds in you chest and your temple as your office politico rationale chides, a serf has no rights. The real possibility that you could be either jobless or in the office through next week’s vacation, enters your rueful cranium. Between the lines, you acknowledge the regal legals‘ communication, stamped and sealed, ad electronica, demands you relinquish your life, droit de seigneur, to give to the larger needs of the firm, who will then leave you unthanked and unrewarded for your service.

But the scales have fallen from your eyes, since last year you spent six weeks of your life in indentured servitude. Relinquishing all free time, many hours of sleep and in some cases food, you worked sacrificially for this firm during a hellish arbitration hearing. You billed between 13 and 20 hours a day then, a statistic that you believe no audience ever fully grasped the reality of. Once back home, you woke up every morning for 10 days, after 8+ hours of sleep, still fully exhausted, from those 45 days of sleep deprivation. The oft-repeated factoid in those days was, “Sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture according to the United Nations.” You’ve sworn to see that the US Ambassador–or possible the Norweigian–move for sactions against the firm should such a workload lie before you again.

So, you skip the meeting. As it progresses, you sit at your desk, indexing documents. A voice calls two associates over the paging system just 5 minutes after the purported start. You re-read the email, doubting your decision, but unsure how to alter course. You continue indexing. Then, in the otherwise silent floor, sounds of someone approaching your cubicle area plods toward you, a partner–a nasal-toned partner, who ever-displays his enamoured adoration for the sound of his voice, a withered minotaur of a man who thinks himself a king, if his percieved divinity, even supposes him a mortal–passes enroute to the break room for coffee. You half expect a pre-terminal interrogation, then, but instead get only a nominal sigh of emphysemic air in passing.

You continue indexing. Indexing as though your employment depends on it. The paging system sounds again, “You could have gone to the meeting and just explained your limited availability, you know.” Why would you do that you wonder, wouldn’t that be an admission that you were willing to work next week on the projects? Your heartrate rises again, you invent contigency plans for losing your job prior to the holidays, which you regard more as an inconveince than a threat. You pause.

“Who said that?”

As the floor begins to repopulate, your actions feels magnified, “Was your judgment is too harsh?” As fast as you can say, respondeat superior this email for another partner arrives in your inbox.

I forgot to mention at that meeting that we do not expect you to work on this project on Thanksgiving Day.

Thanks,

You awe at the merciful generosity of that statement.

You work quietly till lunch. You sign out, eat, and return to your desk. Indexing.

At 4:45, the email arrives. Your heart gallops as soon as you see who it’s from–your supervisor–and read the subject line, “Document Review — Your Availability.” You open it to read, “Can we meet, now?”

Sitting down in the office, you notice every artery in your body, laced with adrenaline, constricting your muscles, your voice, and pressing against your skin. Your supervisor asks, “What are you working on now?”

“Indexing the documents from the July review.”

“Can you assist on the document reviews, that’s a priority.”

You explain you are out next week.

“We are cancelling all vacations.”

You feel your throat tying itself in a perfect square knot. You ask yourself if you are prepared to say this. You breath in. Open your mouth to speak.

The phone rings. Your supervisor answers. “Yes. Yes, we are looking for information on Hitler’s missing testicle. We believe Napolean also had only one. “

You waver.

She continues, “We believe that the single testicle theory holds up, due to the rhyme.”

“What rhyme?” you hear your voice ask?

At that moment, you notice moisture has gathered in the corner of your mouth. You try to wipe it with your hand, but your arm responds clumsily. You also become puzzled as to why “Jesus, Etc.” by Wilco is playing on the paging system. You arm feels like jelly, and your back is aching. You hear someone calling your name.

Suddenly, you notice the formica texture of a surface against your temple. Your name again. You notice the warmness of saliva on an unseen surface. You feel light on your eyes. Your name, again. You raise your head from your desk.

“You better wake up. You don’t want to get fired before your Thanksgiving break.” You hear, as you recognize your cubicle neighbor standing before you. “Wake up. It’s Friday, time to go home.”

***

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Hope everyone has a safe, fun holiday!

HMSA 25K (Journey to Marathon: Fourth in a Series)

That’s the starting line of this Sunday’s 25k race, which is 15.5 miles long. I ran it in 2:31:24. The Sunday before this race, I did and 18 mile training run, where I developed patellar tendonitis. That means every time I bend my knee, a line of my tendon running just under my kneecap hurts. I’m hoping the purchase of some new shoes help that heal. I was hurting by the time I finished…and I’m still hurting.

Also, noteworthy, the “shirts” from this race are nice red microfiber windbreaker pullovers with an embroidered HMSA 25k patch.

What accent do you have?

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The West Your accent is the lowest common denominator of American speech. Unless you’re a SoCal surfer, no one thinks you have an accent. And really, you may not even be from the West at all, you could easily be from Florida or one of those big Southern cities like Dallas or Atlanta.
The Midland
Boston
North Central
The South
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

The "You" series

You want to clarify something. You’ve got this idea about a protagonist, “You” who is mostly a point of view, moreso than it is you. A collection of criticisms, commentaries and needless complications, based solely on your experiences to be fictionalized, functionalized and fractionalized for literary effect. You consider the Seeing Red post an example. The series is partially inspired by Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas, which you believe to be a hilarious book written entirely in the second person point of view. You think that is clever, but what do you know?

You want to point the idea out, because of your perception of the kind comments on the Seeing Red post. You realize, however, that post was as much inspired by the conjunction of Christmas decor and check card fraud as it was something that happened to you. If it hadn’t happened to you on that particularly festive day at Starbucks though, you’d probably never have mentioned it. But, you liked the irony since ’tis the season to be spending, though, you acknowledge that jolliness never hurt anyone. However, you feel that you don’t need a season for jolliness, but only a playmate.

Battle of the Album Covers

Babel

Alejandro González Iñárritu and Guillermo Arriaga complete their “Death trilogy” in this new film, Babel. Their previous work on Amorres Perros and 21 Grams gave them the budget to produce an ambitious work originally concieved as spanning 7 continents. Due to screen time and budgetary concerns, the film shows 3 parallel narratives on 3 continents, whose otherwise unrelated characters’ lives interact due to a single occurence–an inciting incident that takes place on a mountain. Like the Biblical story referenced in the title, the film addresses the lingusitic and cultural barriers and commonalities of humanity, though reminding us that in our technological, terroristic and globalized world, we are increasingly brought together and separated by our choices.

This film is topical, compelling, circumspect and uncharacteristically unique. Technically, it is flawless with excellent performances by all the actors. Expect to read some subtitles and go to the bathroom beforehand, screen time clocks in at 2:20.

Seeing Red

Running late again this morning, you pop into Starbucks for a quick pick-me-up. You notice for the first time this year the Christmas blend, which you enjoy drinking, sits festively on the kiosk beside the line to order beverages. You notice the poinsettia-colored cups stacked beside the register. You consider the deep ruby of the coffee paraphernalia displayed on the shelves lining the walls.

You order a coffee. Christmas Blend. You study the the shimmering rose of the coffee bags.

You hand your check card to the so-called barista, who swipes it. You take your coffee, your card and your belongings and turn to leave.

“Excuse me, sir.”

You turn, “Yes?”

“Your card didn’t go through.”

You think, “That’s strange.” as you hand her a bill with some embarassment. You take your change and go.

You check your bank account online. You notice $900 in charges you didn’t make. You swear silently, as you hear yourself pleading to the bank’s representative at the other end of the line, “…but, I’ve never even been to Canada.” You discover your check card has been cancelled.

You think, “Happy Holidays, everyone.”

My Cat

My oldest cat–the one I’ve had the longest–is not feeling well. It’s probably nothing serious, but he’s never been sick before so I’m worried. He is usually very active. He loves to go outside, but he has been in the same spot in our house for about 24 hours–not eating or using the facilities. I got him to drink a little water this morning, but that’s it. He’s at the vet now, but I haven’t heard the diagnosis. I hope he’s ok and I wish I would have stayed home from work to be with him at the vet.

UPDATE: He’s going to be fine. The doctor says that it’s just an infection. With medication, he’ll be better in a few days.

Beck on SNL

I caught this by accident last Saturday night. I was totally blown away. I’ve been a Beck fan since Odelay. When I saw this, I had to reconsider that his genius may be understated. Youtube may pull it for copyright reasons, so in the immortal words of Janis Joplin, “get while you can.”